Then and Now

But I wasn’t okay. I was different.

And anyone who has ever been different as a child knows the feelings of separation and loneliness that come with it, no matter how often your parents tell you that being different means you’re going to do something really important one day.

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My Beloved

She thought of how nice it would be to be invited into those homes one day, to live how her clients lived, to enjoy a cocktail and listen to their laughter, which she imagined tinkled like the bell over the shop door.

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The Day I Died

Quite suddenly my peripheral vision went black on the left and the right and then those two sides rushed towards each other to meet in the middle, like someone closing a curtain. I remember gripping the bathroom counter tightly, saying “Oh my God, oh my God” and then the world ended.

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Seeds of Solace

I take refuge in sitting still and being small and quiet and watching all of the little lives unfolding around me. It allows me to comprehend that my drama is no more important than their drama.

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Come Together, Right Now

And so yes, of course I’ve been called to arms over this pandemic— my life depends on that kind of reaction. And each of us, up to this point, has been trying to do what is right for our own households, forging our own path.

And mistakenly thinking that we aren’t all traveling the same path together.

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The Glass Cottage

It had a solid foundation of stone, but its walls were glass. A bright fire shone from within and the forest gathered closely around it, protecting it, as if the deeply-rooted trees were holding the cottage in their branches.

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A Strange Journey

So I am here in the NOW, right this moment! I’m about to apply my stage makeup, I plan to have fun tonight and to give the audience exactly what they came for: laughter and joy and raucousness.

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Spider Senses

And there it waited, as if some other insect was unwittingly buzzing around the interior of my now booby-trapped car. It made me smile to think that a little spider could have such big hopes.

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Thank You for the Music

The last time I danced on this stage in front of an audience was in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and I was dying. I was in end-stage heart failure and while I didn’t know it, I was only nine months from receiving a new heart.

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My White House

It was a terrifying morning and there was only time to hug my parents one last time before The Boy was chasing my bed down the hall as the anesthesiologist pushed me towards either a new beginning or a very real end.

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Time... After Time

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about time.

Of course, tis the season. In the days between Christmas and New Year’s Eve I think most of us reflect, look back, look inward and worry that we’ve wasted another year.

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On Blackberries and Truth

It's all exactly like last year and the year before it and the year before it... but something is different. Something is larger and incomprehensible and waiting to gobble me up, as if I'm a plump blackberry too.

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Morning Glory

Sometimes it feels like I’m standing in a hall of mirrors and everything that has ever happened or will ever happen is going on at the same time and I just feel so MUCH.

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